What is the deciding factor on whether or not you are a "person of color"? At what point does one stop being "white"? Am I enough of a minority to understand what racism is? To know what being discriminated against really feels like? I am of German decent. Some people look at me and assume I am not a person of color while others only see color, race, and perceived origin because I don't "look white".
Maybe it's my eyes that define which racial group I should be cataloged with, or it is the color of my skin which isn't too dark or too light. What part of me signals to others that I am not "white"? I have never understood how people made that choice.
When I was very young and living in Mexico, I was the minority. When I moved to the United States I was still the minority. Even when I am around people that look a lot like me I am still the minority. I am different. I accept that there isn't a large concentration of people that share my racial make up. Even in the small town where I was conceived there was only me. As far as I can tell I am a minority of one. I will always be perceived as being different.
My children, if you follow that a fourth plus one fourth equal half, are mostly German. No one has volunteered to call my children German. The question they do get asked with some frequency is "Are you part Chinese?" Even with the assumption that they are not one hundred percent of anglo decent they aren't often treated as anything but "white" while I get treated as one hundred percent "not-white". Why?
About five years ago my daughter came home from school quite upset. There had been a long running discussion on race and racism in one of her classes, and when she had ventured to give her opinion she was dismissed. She was told that she couldn't possibly understand what it meant to be a person of color because she was white.
My daughter has never identified as being only German or only Chinese or only Mexican or only anything. Watching how people interacted with me, her mother, how they treated me unfairly or acted dismissive of me simply because of how I looked had left an indelible mark on her. She saw herself as being just like me, meaning that she grew up feeling as if she too was a minority. When I was slighted she felt slighted, when I was insulted she felt insulted. Being told that she couldn't possibly understand what it felt like to be discriminated against and thus shouldn't even try to voice her opinion on the subject was akin to a slap on the face, a very ethnically diverse face.
Even more recently a friend of mine was called out for being "white" and thus incapable of understanding what racial diversity is all about. This is the same friend who grew up in a mostly Mexican-American neighborhood where the language of choice was Spanish. Even back then the very fact that she was "white" meant that she was automatically perceived as being elitist and aloof. Do her experiences give her enough credibility? Can she talk about diversity without others thinking that she is simply pandering to minorities?
My step-brother, born to descendants of English/Scottish immigrants, suffered a broken arm during an altercation that was started over his hair. He had a head full of really tight and frizzy curls which someone mistook for permed hair made to look like an afro. It was his first week at a new school and he was beaten down because someone thought he was trying to "look black". After a year of dodging fists and death threats my step-brothers and sister had to be transferred to another school.
I had a friend who was constantly made fun of for having "nappy hair." She was in fourth grade and the girls in school who looked like her made fun of her and excluded her from any social events for not straightening her hair. I often found her crying in the school bathroom. She would run a comb through her hair until her scalp hurt but that didn't change the texture at all. She was ten years old and people were already telling her that her natural state wasn't good enough. That looking like her family wasn't good enough. That her ethnic beauty wasn't good enough. Are those experiences enough for both of them to be able to say "I understand what it feels like to be discriminated against because of the color of my skin and the texture of my hair" without someone taking offense that it is a "white" man or a very young girl who speaks those words?
What qualifies a person to be able to freely talk or write about diversity and discrimination without becoming the victims of vitriol? How dark does your skin need to be before you are recognized as a person of color? Who should be allowed to talk about discrimination and diversity? At what point does defending diversity cross the line into racism? Is it the name calling? Is calling someone "non-white" as acceptable as calling someone "black" or "white"? Is it even okay to use the phrase "person of color"?
Of course, in a perfect world everyone should be allowed to talk about race and diversity. Everyone. The answer to healing a racial divide does not lie with one race or the other. It lies with all of us, no matter where our ancestors came from. It shouldn't matter what shade of dark or light your skin is, or if you are white or black or Asian or Native or whatever. It has been my experience that when people put their differences aside for the sake of community everyone starts to be treated as and acting like equals.
